There’s never enough time for everyone. A portion of your friends and/or family is bound to be upset by how you choose to divy up your precious holiday schedule. Spread thin, and guilt thick.
Destress the Halls with Push10
Feeling the urge to bang your head against a wall that’s festooned with holiday lights? Normal. Researching flights to Bermuda that coincidentally fall over your family’s holiday reunion? Totally OK. Clenching your fist at the mere thought of enduring political conversations over a turkey dinner? Happens to everyone.
During the holidays, maybe the problem isn’t your Aunt Jackie pushing her radical political agenda (although she should probably tone it down). Maybe the real crime is that 54% of people struggle to enjoy the holidays because of stress, according to the NY Post. We’re here to help you look on the brighter side of common holiday stressors.
Scheduling
Guess what? Your schedule is just that, your schedule. Take comfort in knowing that it really is impossible to please everyone. You know what, do yourself one better. Schedule time for you this holiday season. Is that your masseuse beckoning?
This^.
Shopping
Some of the best deals of the year come during the holiday season. Sounds like an excuse to treat yourself to something nice, doesn’t it?
One bulb on a strand of lights is only a small piece of the whole. But when one goes out, it suddenly becomes a metaphor for how you handle holiday stress: It only takes a small mishap for everything to devolve into hell.
Decorating
Every year is another opportunity to best your neighbors’ attempts at holiday decorating. Let your creativity shine–literally.
Wrapping gifts. That’s it. That’s the whole thing.
Wrapping Gifts
Every gift given is an opportunity to ignite in someone else the same frantic, childish hysteria you felt as a kid whenever you got exactly what you wanted. Age is a state of mind; “overreacting” to a great gift is just society trying to convince you it’s not.
Your culinary skills–or lack thereof–will be put on full display. If things don’t go well, good luck finding a pizza shop open this time of year.
Cooking and Baking
The first step of turning char into an exciting new flavor profile might just start with you. Regardless, you volunteered to cook, and that is respectable enough in itself. Your burnt pie is enough; you are enough.
If you’re flying somewhere, your flight will be delayed. It just will be. If you’re driving somewhere, you will brave traffic. It’s inevitable. If you’re fighting an impending snow storm, oof. Just…good luck.
Travelling
If you’re flying somewhere, on-flight mimosas hit a little different. If you’re driving somewhere, you finally have an excuse to burn through all those podcasts on your list. If you’re facing an impending snowstorm, remember: hot cocoa and awesome instagram photos are on the other end.
The second she walked in, your grandma has locked eyes on your cheek and has determined to tattoo her lipstick on it with her incessant kisses.
Grandma’s Kisses
Your grandma has many more years of wisdom behind her than you. And equipped with all of this extra experience, she chose to kiss you on the cheek. That’s not something to scour at–that’s something to savor.
All it takes is someone to say something vaguely political at the dinner table. Then, all of a sudden, your family is yelling at each other, there’s mashed potatoes on the wall, and the dog is cowering away in the corner, scared.
Political Conversations
Let’s face it, political conversations are inevitable for most families around the holidays. But you know what’s not always inevitable? That you’ll be able to get all of your family together like this again. For at least once a year, let it slide (and grab the last slice of pie while no one is paying attention).
The family is coming. Need to get the house ready. Your mother-in-law may not go so far as to perform the white glove test. But, oh, you better believe she will notice that film of dust on your window sills. “Your home looks a little…unkempt. Are you unwell?”
Clean the House
Having company over for the holidays is the perfect excuse to get to all of that cleaning you were putting off for the last 2, 3, 4, maybe 12 months or so. But who’s counting?
The dark side: Maintaining a healthy diet during the holidays is a cruel, sadistic ploy to keep you in a constant state of stress. Who in their right mind could resist the turkey, stuffing, cookies, cakes, pies and all of the other delectable holiday treats that make life worth living?
Blowing Your Diet
New Years is just around the corner, and that means so are New Year’s resolutions. It’s the holidays, for goodness’ sake. Sticking to your diet for this long is valiant enough.
Seriously! What is the point of coming into work between Christmas and New Years, when half of the office is out on PTO and there’s only enough work to occupy an hour a day, tops?!
Work
In times where there is seemingly no reason for being–like the week between Christmas and New Years at work–it is our responsibility to fill that void, to create our own meaning. Which is precisely why you should take this rare opportunity to practice office parkour a la the great Michael Scott.
Surely whoever drew the first calendar had good intentions. But immediately after the insanity of the holiday season comes to an end, you have to think about New Years. Forget trying to find plans, the most stressful part may even be staying awake long enough to see the ball drop.
New Years Planning
Just when you think your tank is running on empty after the holidays, New Years is here to prove you wrong. One last hurrah, one last shebang, one last chance to embarrass yourself before shedding the skin of the year before.
Oh god. Where am I? I can’t believe it I made it home. Did the ball drop? Did I leave my card at the bar? There’s drool on my face, isn’t there? Please send help…and a box of chicken nuggets.
National Hangover Day
Every New Years Day, the nation puts aside its differences and bands together to participate in the most widespread, collective hangover of the year. You earned the celebrating binge last night, and you earned the TV watching binge this morning.